Couple & Family Counseling

Is something between you broken, stuck, or quietly hurting?
I help couples – and families, parents, siblings, close friends – understand what’s actually happening between them, so they can repair what’s worth repairing, and let go of what isn’t.

Three ways I work with couples & families

You might be in the right place if…

As a couple

You keep having the same fight, and neither of you knows how to get out of the loop.
You’re recovering from an affair, a betrayal, or a major rupture.
The intimacy is gone – emotional, physical, or both – and you don’t know how to get it back.
You’re considering separating, but you want to try one real thing first.
You’re a blended family, and the tension is spilling everywhere.
You’ve recently met, or youre about to move in or get married, and want to do it consciously rather than hopefully.

As a family or close friends

Something between you has been broken for years, and you want help repairing it.
You’re parents and adult children stuck in the same painful pattern.
You need a neutral third party who can help you actually hear each other.
You’re siblings working through something old.
You’re going through a divorce or separation and want help making it less destructive for you, and for everyone around it.
I work with couples, families, and small groups, online or in person.

What Working With Me Looks Like

We start with a free 15-minute conversation.

One of you can reach out first if your partner (or family member) isn’t ready. We’ll talk about what’s happening, what you’re hoping for, and whether this is the right fit.

Then we usually start with individual sessions.

For couples and family work, I like to meet each of you individually first. This lets me understand where each person stands, without the influence of the other, and gives all of you a chance to feel comfortable and safe with me. Then we come together for joint sessions.

Sessions move between healing and building.

We look at what’s happened — the wounds, the patterns, the unspoken things that have been driving the conflict (the work I call counseling). And we build new ways of communicating, new agreements, new skills you keep using long after we stop (coaching).

In Bernard’s words: “The difference between counseling and coaching is that counseling helps you address past issues to improve your present well-being, while coaching focuses on developing new strategies to help you grow and move forward into the future.”

You leave with clarity, and tools to practice.

I don’t tell couples what to do, and I don’t take sides. I help each person see clearly, take responsibility for their part, and decide — together or apart — what comes next. Many of the couples I work with stay together. Some don’t. Both can be the right outcome. I believe that a successful relationship is a conscious one, no matter how long it lasts, months or years!

In addition to more tailored Couple & Family Counseling approaches

For Couples

Marriage Counseling

Focuses on resolving conflicts between spouses, improving communication, and strengthening the relationship.

Premarital Counseling

Helps couples prepare for marriage by discussing expectations, conflict resolution, and relationship goals.

Communication Skills Counseling

Focuses on enhancing communication between partners or family members to resolve conflicts more effectively.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Aims to strengthen emotional bonds in relationships by addressing attachment issues and fostering empathy and understanding.

Divorce Counseling

Provides support during or after a divorce, helping individuals or families adjust to the changes and manage emotions.

Sex Therapy

Focuses on sexual issues within a relationship, helping couples overcome challenges related to intimacy and sexual health.

For Families

Family Therapy

Addresses issues affecting the whole family — communication problems, behavioral issues, or life transitions.

Parenting Counseling

Focuses on improving parenting skills, managing children’s behavior, and navigating family dynamics related to parenting.

Blended Family Counseling

Addresses the unique challenges faced by stepfamilies and helps improve relationships between step-siblings and parents.

Family Mediation

Specifically designed for resolving family disputes — divorce, child custody, inheritance issues, sibling conflict. A neutral mediator helps reach an agreement constructively.

Restorative Mediation

Aimed at restoring relationships after harm. Often involves the people who were hurt, those who caused harm, and sometimes others affected; addressing what happened, exploring the causes, and agreeing on steps to repair it.

Transformative Mediation

Focuses on transforming the relationship itself. Empowers participants and improves understanding, communication, and connection.

Interest-Based Mediation

Focuses on identifying the underlying interests and needs of the parties — rather than their stated positions — to find mutually workable solutions.

The key is to understand your wounds and conditioning, so you become 'Allies in Healing' rather than adversaries in pain. —The Wizard of Love

Credentials & approach

Most relationship conflict isn’t about what it looks like on the surface. Your partner triggers something old – a wound, a story, a piece of conditioning – and you react. They do the same back. The fight you’re having isn’t really about the dishes, the message, the way it was said.

The good news: those triggers are exactly where the healing is. When both people can see what’s actually getting touched and take responsibility for it, the conflict becomes the doorway, not the dead end.

Who’s Bernard?

I’m an International Couples Counselor, a Relationship Coach for singles and couples, and a mediator for couples, families, friends, and business associates. For the past decade, I’ve guided hundreds of people toward more conscious and fulfilling relationships.

I’ve lived across four continents and three languages, and I’ve worked with every kind of relationship – same-culture, cross-cultural, cross-faith, blended, traditional, anything but boring. I’m not here to tell you what your relationship should look like. I’m here to help you see what’s actually happening, and decide together what to do with it.

Credentials

Certified Relationship and Personal Development Coach & Counselor
Trained at Interchange Counseling Institute, Union Institute, Ecology of Leadership, The Evolutionary Collective
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Expert and creator of the Conscious Communication Model
Men’s Group Facilitator
10+ years, hundreds of clients

Ready to start?

You don’t have to be ready – one of you reaching out is enough.

FAQs - The Wizard of Love answers your questions

What is the difference between counseling and coaching?

The difference between counseling and coaching is that counseling helps you address past issues to improve your present well-being, while coaching focuses on developing new strategies to help you grow and move forward into the future.

What if my partner / family member doesn't want to come?

That’s more common than you’d think. Start anyway — one of you reaching out is enough. We can do individual sessions first. Often, when the person who comes in changes how they show up, the other person’s resistance shifts. Sometimes they join later. Sometimes they don’t, and the work still moves things.

We've tried couples therapy before. How is this different?

I can’t speak to your previous therapist, but here’s how I work: I don’t take sides, I don’t moralize, and I won’t tell you whether to stay or leave. I work with the underlying patterns — the wounds and conditioning each of you brings into the room — and I use my Conscious Communication model (based on NVC) that gives you tools you keep using. The aim is real change, not better-managed conflict.

Do you take sides?

No. My job is to help each of you see the other clearly, and yourselves more clearly. I’ll challenge each of you when it’s useful — but I’m not in the room to declare a winner.

Will you tell us whether to stay together or break up?

No. That’s your decision, and you’re the only people who can make it. What I will do is help you both get to a place where you can make that decision with clarity, instead of fear, exhaustion, or guilt.

How long are the sessions?

The duration depends on what you need to work on and your budget. We can start with one hour, and I usually keep space open after each session in case you want to continue beyond the first hour. When things are moving and we’re resolving real issues, I’ve had couples choose to keep going for up to 4 hours.

Can this work online?

Yes. Most of my couples and family work is online, and the depth is the same. In-person sessions are available when you’re in Thailand.

Couple & Family Counseling

Three ways I work with couples & families

Supportive

Healing

Restorative